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CNN -> Cantina News Network
#1
Welcome to the official news channel of The Cantina.

We will be reporting on daily events in the various threads throughout the day. We have several users embedded in various conversations, giving us around-the-clock eye-witness coverage.

We will strive to give you the very latest debates, the newest topics, the most recent LOL's, real time news on flames, up to the minute troll-sightings, and of course, continuing coverage of the War in the Feedback Council. All news, all the time.

>>Cue opening music<<

[Stephen Colbert]

Don't touch that dial, and if your TV has a dial, go buy a new one. This is the Cantina News Network.

[/Stephen Colbert]

We accept coverage from all members of the board (except for the ones we don't like Tongue ). Biggrin
Ford: Don't worry, I trust them to the end of the Earth.
Arthur: And how long is that?
Ford: About 12 minutes.
-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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#2
Where can I apply to be a reporter? And will this network have any censorship? If so, where can I apply for that?
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#3
(07-13-2008, 05:31 PM)Eagle of the Desert3 Wrote: Where can I apply to be a reporter?

We accept all coverage from budding journalists.


(07-13-2008, 05:31 PM)Eagle of the Desert3 Wrote: And will this network have any censorship? If so, where can I apply for that?

Of course there's *bleeping* censorship, what do *bleeping* people think we *bleeping* are, a *bleeping* democracy? Wink Laugh
Ford: Don't worry, I trust them to the end of the Earth.
Arthur: And how long is that?
Ford: About 12 minutes.
-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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#4
This just in - Mr. Rogers found to have been an ultra-right wing mad scientist.

(runs from the censorship police) Laugh
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#5
(07-17-2008, 09:54 PM)LightSidewalker125 Wrote: This just in - Mr. Rogers found to have been *CENSORED FOR YOUR SAFETY*.

(runs from the censorship police) Laugh

*shakes fist* Ah, get back here!

*there is some tussling sound off screen*

In other news, LightSidewalker125 is now a wanted for posting remarks against Mr Rogers. He is dangerous and my be armed with a light saber and Chuck Norris facts. There is a 1,000 post reward for information leading to his capture.
Ford: Don't worry, I trust them to the end of the Earth.
Arthur: And how long is that?
Ford: About 12 minutes.
-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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#6
*Turns TV off*

News on this channel sucks! Angry
By the way, if you're reading this, you're not paying attention to the page it's on! Pinch
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#7
(07-18-2008, 07:44 PM)Starpaul20 Wrote: In other news, LightSidewalker125 is now a wanted for posting remarks against Mr Rogers. He is dangerous and my be armed with a light saber and Chuck Norris facts. There is a 1,000 post reward for information leading to his capture.

Hey, I saw him run through the Expanded Universe forum the other day, can I have my 1000 posts now?
[Image: wenty321_1.jpg]
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#8
(07-14-2008, 10:40 AM)Starpaul20 Wrote:
(07-13-2008, 05:31 PM)Eagle of the Desert3 Wrote: Where can I apply to be a reporter?

We accept all coverage from budding journalists.

Our top story is... there is no top story. There's nothing to report! We're boring! Sad Sad
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#9
*Breaking news*

This just in... *silence*

*crickets chirping*

Ok, there is nothing to report. Eagle's right, we're boring! Where's a spammer when you need one?

EDIT: BREAKING NEWS! Google Bot is on the board at this very moment, like it does everyday. Yes
Ford: Don't worry, I trust them to the end of the Earth.
Arthur: And how long is that?
Ford: About 12 minutes.
-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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#10
REAL BREAKING NEWS, we had our first ever bit of drama this afternoon when a new member posted stuff that was very much against our board rules. After getting beaten up in the back room getting a stern talking to, he received a warning for his actions.
Ford: Don't worry, I trust them to the end of the Earth.
Arthur: And how long is that?
Ford: About 12 minutes.
-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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#11
World Update:

Russia has stopped its invasion of Georgia yesterday and a ceasefire is now in place. President Bush has called for an immediate withdrawal of all Russian troops fearing the conflict would spill over into neighboring Alabama and South Carolina. Then someone had to remind Bush that the country of Georgia was the one being invaded and not the US state of Georgia.
T'Pol: I am not old, I will only be 66 years old on my next birthday.
Trip: I can't believe you told me that.
T'Pol: You accused me of being old.
-Star Trek: Enterprise 3-24, "Zero Hour"
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#12
(08-14-2008, 06:39 PM)Starpaul20 Wrote: REAL BREAKING NEWS, we had our first ever bit of drama this afternoon when a new member posted stuff that was very much against our board rules. After getting beaten up in the back room getting a stern talking to, he received a warning for his actions.

Ah, man, I go away on vacation for a week and real drama happens! Censored
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#13
BREAKING NEWS!

Someone farted, who did it? Realmad
T'Pol: I am not old, I will only be 66 years old on my next birthday.
Trip: I can't believe you told me that.
T'Pol: You accused me of being old.
-Star Trek: Enterprise 3-24, "Zero Hour"
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#14
***This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. This is only a test.***

<beep>
<beep>
<beep>

***Again, this was a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. If this had been a real emergency, we'd most likely be screwed by now.***
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#15
George Lucas reported today that he'll make another edition of Star Wars just because he feels like it. Some of the changes include adding Jar Jar Binks to Episodes IV-VI. George is reported to saying "Jar Jar is the most important character in Star Wars." Wink

George also said he'll make Episode VII-IX, saying these films will happen 25-30 years after A New Hope, and will center around Jar Jar Binks, again.
Ford: Don't worry, I trust them to the end of the Earth.
Arthur: And how long is that?
Ford: About 12 minutes.
-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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