Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
Now come up with your own!
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't pushing himself up, he's pushing the world down.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Check out this site for some more:
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
LOL
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.